Friday, March 24, 2017

How to Get Away With Murder

If you happen to have anger management issues like Anakin Skywalker, or are simply fed up with someone ,then you have probably thought of murdering them. If done right murder can be a very simple solution. It is (A) A way to dispose of someone without being rude (B) A way to dispense of multiple enemies, and (C) It makes your life much easier.

These all sound really great and all, but how do you go about killing someone? Well here are my 5 tips on how to get away with murder.

#1. Plan your escape route. I cannot stress this tip enough. Say that your victim is married, or still lives with his parents, and you happen to arouse one of them with all the noise. Things would get really bad really quick if you don't have an escape route planned. This is one of the first things you should plan. If you don't have an escape route, then don't even bother.

#2. Choose your method.  You'll likely want to avoid using a knife or a gun, as they can easily be traced back to you, and all the blood would stain the carpet. But other than that your options are pretty open. You can try using a really strong poison, or even placing a king colbra on their bed, whatever floats your boat. Just remember to try and use something that leaves as little evidence as possible.

#3. Wipe yourself clean.   You're going to have to find some place to be and an excuse for why you were there so you won't be blamed. You could try taking a vacation somewhere for a few weeks, or you could even try doing something as simple as going too the movies, just find some reason and you should be fine.

#4. Get rid of the witnesses. It's very likely that the people close to the victim will know about your prejudice against him, so you should quickly and quietly get rid off them. It doesn't matter how cute they are or how much you want to keep them, you have to do something about them.

And finally.....

#5. Find someone to blame.  Like I said earlier, this is a great way to dispose of multiple enemies. Try shifting the blame to someone else you don't like. If done right it should result in murder charges for the blamed, and you getting away Scott free.

So there you have it! a short but sweet guide on how to get away with murder. Let me know what you think in the comments below, and tell me what some of your methods for getting away with murder would be.


  1. So, how's your relationships with your siblings going??? :D